| <3And I've seen, You don't need their seeds, When the cut goes too deep<3 |
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| It's time i got back |
[02 May 2005|02:21pm] |
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ARG, my exams start tomorrow and that makes me sad :(!!!!
But i haven't updated in ages so here goes & i have a new layout, aint it sexy?! Last weekend i went to stay in Perth with Grantapoop! It was jolly fun, we bought giant badges from the "quids inn", met Karleen, went to Brechin for them to play a gig, they got stuck, we got home, i went back to grants and waited with his mum till he got home, silly boy! we fell asleep watching family guy, then i got stranded in perth so we watched the oc till my mummy came for me! It was fun, p.s. supposidly grant has nice legs(your so paying me later for this).
( Weekend photos+randomness <3 )
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[28 Feb 2005|04:59pm] |
How to LOVE a girl:
Tell her you think she's cool.
Tell her why you think she's so cool.
Smell her.
Talk to her in movie theatres.
Pick her up and pretend you're going to throw her in the river; she'll scream and fight you but secretly, she'll love it.
Hold her hand and skip.
Hold her hand and run.
Just hold her hand.
Pick flowers from other peoples gardens and give them to her.
Tell her she looks pretty.
Let her pay for stuff if she wants to.
Introduce her to your friends as The coolest girl I know.
Sit in the park and talk to her.
Take her to the library, and playgrounds, and train stations.
Tell her stupid jokes.
Writepoems about her.
Just walk around with her.
Throw pebbles at her window at night.
When she starts swearing at you, tell her you love her.
Take her to shows of bands she's never heard of.
Hold her hand in the mosh pit.
Let her fall asleep in your arms.
Call her.
Call her back if she calls you.
Sing to her, no matter how bad you are.
Carve your names into a tree.
Get her mad, then kiss her.
Give her piggy-back rides.
How to LOVE a girl:
Go see her band play even if they really suck, and tell her they were great.
Give her space if she needs it.
Push her on swings.
Stay up with her all night when she's sick.
Make up pet names for her, but cool ones, not sappy ones.
Teach her guitar.
Lend her your cds.
Write on her.
Make her mixtapes.
Write her letters.
If she asks you to go to a show with her, go, even if it means a 5 hour train trip.
Take her to cool shops, and let her take you to even cooler ones.
Listen to all the bands she mentions.
Don't tell her that her favorite bands suck.
When she's sad, hang out with her or stay on the phone with her, even if she's not saying anything.
Buy her ice cream.
Let her take all the photos of you she wants.
Look into her eyes.
Slow dance with her, even if the music is fast.
Kiss her in the rain.
When you fall in love with her, tell her......
Thank you Rachel for this! <3
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| I Cross My Heart |
[07 Feb 2005|05:23pm] |
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The weekend was alright i suppose Calums birthday was good, but things have been a bit weird cause Johns been a total cock and no one can be bothered with him! I also got my hair cut which i am loving and got me and Alan tickets to MCR in April ohh i cant wait, im sorry Juliet i didn't have enough money on me to get yours but if you go to rippin just down from flip you will get one <3xxx.
Tomorrow is pan cake day yay, and parents night boo, and if i get bad reports i won't be allowd any, but thats okay cause my beautiful boy will make me some <3.
Thursday is Green Day should be good, Friday is a hoilday and i think im going to Glasgow with Eve and then going to Aimi's at night for a girle night in yay i miss those days. Calums party is on Saturday, Valentines day on Monday and holiday Monday and Tuesday, not bad!
My dad got us flights for our 3 week holiday to NY in August with Eve for free with his airmiles shall be so awesome, we are going to NY, Easton in conneticut, Capecod, and maybe Boston and back to NY to fly home we shall cause one big riot!!!
( dancing in your pants is so underrated )
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[24 Oct 2004|12:01am] |
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Jimmy Eat World |
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( Drugs Or Me )
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[20 Oct 2004|03:37pm] |
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Biffy Clyro-Theres no such thing as a jaggy snake |
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Well one word can be used to decribe last night fuckingamazing!!!! Biffy is <3 i want them to marry me, or Frank any will do!was muchos fun i met Laura and Steph they were super nice, and teddy and stuart but i ve met them before so was all good! we waited in a que for what seemed like ages when you need to pee despirately. Eventually we got in and the support was reuben and boxcar rebellion(i think) they were allright i suppose. Biffy opened with Glitter and Trauma with the awesome into which everyone just crushed me at, i had 3 nice ladies looking after me because i was small and was being killed by stupid people but some cunt hit my lip and it hurt alot so i got out of there twas the most superest craziest crowd i have ever been in! well me and teddy found a cool spot at the side which had a good veiw and no pushing AND the best bit Lorna and Juliet- you guys rock! well yeah Simon is super love when he crowd surfed at the end i wish i was in the middle to grab him and carry him home would have been lushness! Next gig is Taking Back Sunday with My Chemical Romance holy shit will be awesome and full of "emo" kids yass! anywho my pictures arent amazing but here goes!!!!<3
( Biffyness )
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[18 Oct 2004|06:46pm] |
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biffy clyro |
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Today i went into edinburgh to get my lip pierced was a fun experience, it kind of hurt and was just annoying at first but its all good now! i hope!
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| You Are The Human Strobe |
[11 Oct 2004|08:40pm] |
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biffy clyro-glitter and trauma |
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New Biffy album is amazinggg, go out and splash your cash on it or i will put an evill spell on you!!! tonight i tryed to revise a little for the prelimos but it sucks i just can't be bothered i actually had more fun playing the piano wooo!
Only a week tomorrow until biffy and only 4 days till holidays ahhh i cant wait!
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[10 Oct 2004|08:12pm] |
Short Story: Isolated From Society.
Laura Meahan 4F4
“Calm down Katie, please?”
“No, why should I?”
Sorry I shouted but this place drives me crazy, my life is hell and oh yeah that was some woman trying to help me but she is useless like me. I never bother to try and learn any ones name around here, I don’t see the point it’s not like they care anyway. They say they do but they just want to get home to their own happy families definitely nothing like in here.
So lets start from the beginning. I’m Katie and last week was my seventeenth birthday but I didn’t get any cards or presents, no one even acknowledged the fact. I used to live in a nice warm neighbourhood in the suburbs of New Hampshire but now I am staying in the Mental Hospital in the city. I have been here for nearly 2 years and just to let you know this isn’t my choice, if I had the chance I would be as far away from here as possible. It was my parent’s fault that I am here not mine.
It was Christmas morning of 1998 and I had just got my first boyfriend, I was really nervous as he had asked me to go to his house for a party his parents were having. I had never had a boyfriend before and was scared that he would push me into doing things I didn’t want to even though he seemed a real genuine person. I haf been going out with Sean for 3 weeks now and I had something really personal I feel I need to tell him. My parents were alcoholics and had been for a while, I found it really hard to cope with everything so I would self harm to try and forget about it, in a weird way it helped but no-one understands me when I say that. The reason why I did it is because I could not cope at home. My dad hit me a lot when he is drunk and I feel that I have something to do with it like it was me that was making him so mad. I never had the intention really to kill myself just to hurt myself in some way. I would come home from school most days and try to avoid them but it’s hard when your dad can still find your room when he is drunk. He would storm in and hit me for stupid things I have forgotten to do that day like not finished drying the dishes, some days he would hit me for the fun of It I thought. I think it was about 2 months before Christmas and I was late for school and was rushing about and I forgot to make my bed before I left so I said to my mum and she was fine about it she said I could just do it when I came home. I got home and dropped my bag at the door stumbled a little trying to get my black chuck tailors off my feet I tend to tie my laces too tight. They eventually came off and I ran up the stairs and stopped in front of my door.
“Dad what are you doing?”
“You little brat, we pay for all these things for you and you just can’t be bothered to tidy them up, eh?”
“I’m sorr……”
Okay I didn’t even get the whole sentence out I just fell to the floor and it seemed like ages but I didn’t wake up for about 20 minutes, he had knocked me cold and didn’t even care. That was about as worse as it got, at school people began to ask questions when each day I had another bruise or cut to add to the nice collection, which was growing quite rapidly. I just tried to ignore everything around me and block it out but it didn’t work. I would go to the bathroom most nights and take my anger out on my arms; I had a razor hidden in a tin behind all the facial cleansing bottles mum was collecting. I took the razor and slashed away, each time getting deeper and deeper not giving a damn about anyone only wanting to inflict pain resighting to myself “it’s all my fault don’t try to blame anyone else Katie, you hate yourself”. I must have ruined so many towels from bloodstains it was getting ridiculous.
That night I told Sean, it was really hard for me as I have never told anyone but I felt I could confide in him. He was understanding and realised my pain, he comforted me so much I really appreciated him for that. We spent the whole night in his room just talking I told him everything and we both cried, a lot. I had never been able to tell anyone all my anger and upsets in one night and have them just listen. I felt bad for telling him as I didn’t want to make him upset but at the same time it felt so good that someone else understood me. After that night I had cut down on self harming, when I felt upset I would just call Sean or go round to his house he was really supportive towards me. I think I loved him. It was a feeling I had never experienced but I can tell you this it felt amazing. Even when I shut my eyes all I could do was smile and I would see his face I could even block out mum and dad shouting downstairs I wasn’t in as much pain.
The next day I came home from school and there was a woman sitting in my lounge with my dad and Sean, I walked in looking puzzled and not knowing what was going on. The woman was called Sue and she told me to sit down, I did so and she told me how one of Sean’s friend had found a letter I had written to him and was worried about me and told some support teacher at the school. They said it was serious and had to tell social services. My face went white I felt sick and dizzy but at the same time I just wanted to go find his friend and go crazy at him he had no right going through Sean’s private things especially personal things I had given him. I ran out of the room to the garden and sat and cried, Sean followed and tried to comfort me.
“Katie I will always stick by you I am so sorry I mean it I couldn’t help what happened, honestly.”
No words would come out my mouth but I knew I could forgive him. I had no say in what happened to me next I could tell my parents weren’t bothered they just wanted rid of me and that was the day they admitted me to the hospital, I stayed silent and didn’t talk to anyone I couldn’t believe what was happening to me. Sean wasn’t aloud to visit me but he wrote a lot, which made me happy.
The 2 years that I have been here people have tried to help me but I don’t know why they bothered as I won’t let any one in my head I just won’t listen they shouldn’t have put me here. Not long now and I will be free, I have packed and I am about to walk out I really wonder what fresh air will be like it has been so long since I have breathed it into my system.
I was ready to leave this place behind and try and erase everything from here, I ran the whole way down the corridors and the smell of cleaning products captured my nose and the white walls made me dizzy, I watched each stair as I ran down them. I paused in front of the tall wooden doors and took a last look around I was not sad at all to leave this place had that stolen 2 years of my life and I will not get them back. I pushed on the doors, they were heavy but I didn’t care. I took my first breath and It didn’t feel real, the sun was shinning and the wind tossed the leaves around the ground, a figure stood at the end of the path waiting for me. I walked closer and the person became clearer, I was Sean, I ran as fast as I could and stopped before him, we stared and stared and then my arms came away from my sides to hug him. I didn’t want to let go I shut my eyes and floated away. The outside of me was free at last but will my heart ever be able to come alive again and forgive the past. For now it stays dead.
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[09 Oct 2004|10:12pm] |
Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines
he wrote a poem
And he call it "chops"
because that was the name of his dog
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and a gold star
And his mother hung it on the kitchen door
and read it to his aunts
That was the year Father Tracy
took all the kids to the zoo
And he let them sing on the bus
And his little sister was born
with tiny toenails and no hair
And his mother and father kissed a lot
And the girl around the corner sent him a
Valentine signed with a row of X's
and he had to ask his father what the X's meant
And his fahter always tucked him in bed at night
And was always there to do it
Once on a piece of white paper with blue lined
he wrote a poem
And he called it "autumn"
because that was the name of the season
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him and A
and asked him to write more clearly
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because of its new paint
And the kids told him
that Father Tracy smoked cigars
And left butts on the pews
And sometimes they would burn holes
That was th year his sister got glasses
with thick lenses and black frames
And the girl around the corner laughed
when he asked her to go see Santa Claus
And the kids told him why
his mother and father kissed a lot
And his father never tucked him bed at night
And his fahter got mad
when he cried for him to do it.
Once on a paper torn from his notebook
he wrote a poem
And he called it "innocence:a question"
because that was the question about his girl
And thats what it was all about
And his professor gave him and A
and a strange steady look
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because he never showed her
That was the year Father Tracy died
And he forgot how the end
of the Apostle's Creed went
And he caught his sister
making out on the back porch
And his mother and father never kissed, or even talked
And the girl around the corner
wore too much makeup
That made him cough when he kissed her
but he kissed her anyway
because that was the thing to do
And at three A.M he tucked himself into bed
his father snoring soundly
Thats why on the back of a brown paper bag
he tried another poem
And he called it"absolutely nothing"
Because thats what it was all about
And he gave himself an A
And a slash on each damned wrist
And he hung it on the bathroom door
because this time he didnt think
he could reach the kitchen
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| Coming out for you this time |
[09 Oct 2004|09:34pm] |
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Last night eve helped me dye the blond pink and it looks good! today i went into edinburgh with eve and geri i got a new skull and cross-bone for the top of my ear is rad and got my ear streched to fit my plug in it, its cool but hurting a bit i got it for free which was cool!!!im still working on my lip i will get there dont you worry, but today was amazing fun!
( let it bleed )
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[08 Oct 2004|10:15pm] |
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Last night me and eve went to avril for the fun of it, there was lots of cuffufel with the trains but i wont bore you with that so yeah we got there and randomly met jamie and his friend martin outside mcolls inside the secc, they were wrecked, the people were hating us being outside as jamie randomly got changed, we went in and simple plan were supporting and we just took the piss and jamie and martin acted out addicted was funny we were pissing off so many people, avril was hot and i want her baby's shes so small you just want to put her in your pocket and go home! today i have abdominal pains for being lifted up and swung about by jamie or martin, made to dance and having my arms used as drum sticks to peoples head but it was a funny experience!!!
oh yeah today my blond has been dyed to pink will show you later!
( photos baby )
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[03 Oct 2004|11:06am] |
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OMG Taking Back Sunday Carling Academy 24th January, i will be getting a ticket, does anyone else want one?
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[01 Oct 2004|10:09pm] |
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Jimmy Eat World- Pain video |
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Today went sooo slowly even though we only have half days on a Friday it still felt forever, i got home eventually and was really bored that i went for a walk down town to get myself fabric paint and t-shirt paper, and i got stuart some fabric paint too! i got home and Racheal phoned me and said her and Louise were going ice-skating and if i wanted to go so i was like why not should be fun, father drove me through to Rach's and we got a bus to Murrayfield we nearly had a fight on the bus with these really skanky neds who you just didnt want to look at but its cool we are all good, anyway on with the story we got there and there was a party which consisted of girls with vest tops, really short skirts which were like belts, fat hanging over and serious attitude problems i just wanted to hit them but the ice-skating part was fun we didnt fall but we were going so slow and we all had serious concentration looks on our faces, it was funny. at one point Rach made me laugh so much i totally leaped forward and louise went flying but it was okay i grabbed her so she didnt fall there was guys that were annoying us so we told them to fuck off and they just skated really quickly past us cause they are arses and cant take no for an answer! anyway thats the end of todays story, hope you enjoyed.
Tomorrow Chris is coming with me to Glasgow im going to get either the new jimmy or the used album have decided yet a t-shirt to decorate and hair dye i m goign to do it myself i cant be bothered paying shit loads right now for a hairdresser to do AND the dickies jacket i really want!
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[27 Sep 2004|09:40pm] |
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the early november |
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Ask me 3 questions. Any three, no matter how personal, private or random, I have to answer them honestly. In turn, you have to post this message in your own journal.
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| Woo |
[13 Sep 2004|07:58pm] |
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Billy Talent(amusment hehe) thank you sarah!<3 |
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OMG my chemical romance last night were freaking amazing!!! ahh i can't even begin to explain how good! i was right at the front and it was awesome! i would say my only fault was that i got squashed by some bastards and i looked like i was going into a coma and the security man at the front is like "are you ok, do you want to come to the side of the stage its ok?" i was like yes please but the fuckers wouldn't move so he couldn't get me out so i just have some rib and back issues this morning but apart from that i am amazing! Frank was looking sooo hot and Gerard was scaring my with his really weird voice and the touching of his croch and Frank everywhere and anywere! but his dancing was the shit!My highlight was probably when Gerard was talking to everyone and Frank got water in his mouth and started making a fountain over Gerard just was like "alright" it was amazing and Thank You For The Venom was awesome!
p.s-Ray's hair rules!
yourcodenameis:milo where quite good and the lead guy reminded me of this guy i still kindof like in the year above me but has left now :( he looked identical to him
( your life will never be the same )
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[11 Jul 2004|03:58pm] |
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brand new |
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